How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
