get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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