I hate your face
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
