We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
