I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
