dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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