I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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