Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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