lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
