dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
