the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
