the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
