i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
