I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
