Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
