You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
