They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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