You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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