Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
