She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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