It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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