no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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