oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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