I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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