singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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