oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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