Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
