Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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