i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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