ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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