and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We just shotgunned beers for America
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
