im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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