The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
