Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
