you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
