he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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