My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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