We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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