I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
