I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
