my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
