I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dignity is for republicans.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
