question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
the liver wants what the liver wants
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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