Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
