he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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