The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
