So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
