I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
