I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
