How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
