Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
