I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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