Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize