We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
