Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I believe in your delicious
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
