Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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