My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
