There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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